Random Thoughts About Confidence

I know a lot of women who have social bravado and a great public face of confidence – but when they are unplugged and left to themselves they overanalyze and doubt themselves.

Interestingly enough, I know several women who are confident in themselves on a personal level – and never assert that confidence in a public way.

I can count on one hand the number of women I know who are self confident both publically and privately.

Unless you REALLY get to know someone who appears to be confident – you don’t really know how genuine their confidence is.

If you struggle with a lack of confidence in yourself or your ideas – I want you to quickly make a list of the ten women who you most respect and admire in our community- in no particular order at all.

Now consider this:

  • Most of them have no idea that you think they’re great.
  • At least half of them don’t feel worthy of respect and admiration.
  • A third of them have worried about being seen as a ‘poser’.
  • Many of them are concerned about paying their bills on time.
  • Several are really afraid of you knowing just how much they doubt themselves.
  • Two or three of them struggle with secret insecurities that cripple them relationally.

These are just random observations based on my experience in getting to know successful women.  I can’t substantiate my statements – but I’m guessing I probably underestimate more than I overestimate their private insecurities.

so-can-youLook at this list of names and wonder who struggles the most? Who fears the most? Who works the hardest to not let it be seen?

The truth is that you won’t be able to figure it out just by looking at them.  Nobody can. We’re usually shocked to learn that someone successful has feelings of fear and insecurity just like us.  But as shocking as that may be – it has the power to really set you free from your fears and insecurities.

If they can wake up every day and combat thoughts of doubt and fear – so can you.



  1. says

    I think this is a problem for a lot of people no matter how successful. I’m sure at the highest success in our society there are people riddled with doubt. Some of us react differently to doubt. One thing I know I’ve done in the past and hope I won’t in the future is make plans to work with someone I admire, then freak out and make an excuse not to do it. It’s not because I don’t want to, it’s because I suddenly doubt my own skills and worth. I’m getting better at pushing through those fears, but I haven’t conquered it completely yet. Thanks for bringing up an important and worthy topic.
    Stephanie Watson recently posted..5 Reasons Small Businesses Should BlogMy Profile

  2. says

    This is such an important topic. I know that I battle self-confidence issues every day, but most especially when I’m working on a creative project, such as writing or design work. I think for me the biggest problem is that I’m comparing my internal insights to someone else’s public persona. I’m not privy to how long [insert writer of choice here] works to write a blog post or article, so I mistakenly think it just flows from her keyboard with no effort. In reality, she may be struggling even more than I do.

    Like Stephanie says, I’m better at working through this now than I was in the past, but it’s still a problem for me, and it likely always will be. Thanks for bringing it up – it’s important for those new to entrepreneurship to realize this is a normal feeling, and that nearly everyone has to deal with it.
    Cindy Bidar recently posted..You’re Asking the Wrong QuestionMy Profile

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