Random Thoughts About Confidence

I know a lot of women who have social bravado and a great public face of confidence – but when they are unplugged and left to themselves they overanalyze and doubt themselves.

Interestingly enough, I know several women who are confident in themselves on a personal level – and never assert that confidence in a public way.

I can count on one hand the number of women I know who are self confident both publically and privately. 

Unless you REALLY get to know someone who appears to be confident - you don’t really know how genuine their confidence is.

If you struggle with a lack of confidence in yourself or your ideas – I want you to quickly make a list of the ten women who you most respect and admire in our community- in no particular order at all. 

Now consider this:

• Most of them have no idea that you think they’re great. 
• At least half of them don’t feel worthy of respect and admiration.
• A third of them have worried about being seen as a ‘poser’.
• Many of them are concerned about paying their bills on time.
• Several are really afraid of you knowing just how much they doubt themselves.
• Two or three of them struggle with secret insecurities that cripple them relationally.

These are just random observations based on my experience in getting to know successful women.  I can’t substantiate my statements – but I’m guessing I probably underestimate more than I overestimate their private insecurities.

Look at this list of names and wonder who struggles the most? Who fears the most? Who works the hardest to not let it be seen?

The truth is that you won’t be able to figure it out just by looking at them.  Nobody can. We’re usually shocked to learn that someone successful has feelings of fear and insecurity just like us.  But as shocking as that may be – it has the power to really set you free from your fears and insecurities.

If they can wake up every day and combat thoughts of doubt and fear – so can you.

This blog post was started because Melissa Khalisnky tagged me to talk about confidence.  Melissa was tagged by Anne.  Anne wants as many people as possible to send this image of ‘Confidence in a Box’ to someone you know who you suspect lacks confidence in themselves.

So let’s do it – let’s send some confidence in a box to some of the people who we think are just terrific and tell them why we feel that way.

I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would not be who I am today if it were not for a few special people who took the time to tell me what they liked about me.  Nothing builds confidence like a genuine compliment. 

I’m sending my ‘Confidence in a Box’ to:

Aurelia Williams – Girlfriend you are brave and wonderful.  You are stretching and growing and accomplishing so much.  I admire your tennacity and how you lift others up all the time. 

Tishia Lee – You are amazing.  You are doing what millions of other single moms would love to do and you are making it.  You will only go upwards from here.

Michelle Waters – You relentlessly pursue your goals and you are so good at valuing your time.  You are technologically savvy and care deeply about your market.  You will do great things.

And I am tagging these friends to share their further thoughts about Confidence…

Alice Seba, Leesa Barnes and You :)